Mommy Monday: 37 weeks pregnant with number two!

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I mean, should I even call these “Mommy MONDAY” posts any more? I can’t seem to get these up on Mondays these days! haha But, better late than never, right? :)

There honestly aren’t any real updates … which is good! The only update is that (TMI ALERT) I lost my mucous plug last week. I wont go into any more details about it, but basically it’s just a sign that labor is near.

But other than that, nothing new! I have been getting a bit of swelling in my feet and they definitely ache by the end of the day. Ben has been so sweet, rubbing them and letting me lounge around as much as possible. He has been waking up with James in the mornings even on work days so that I can sleep for an extra half hour or so. He is just the very best. I’m so so lucky to have him!

Yesterday, some friends from Music Class took James and I out to lunch as a sort of little baby shower for the new baby! It was so very sweet and really meant a lot to me! They gave us the cutest little clothes for the baby too - truck themed, of course, since James and his buddy are very into trucks and construction. The new baby will fit right in with the big boys! I’m so thankful for such an amazing new friend for James AND for me. :)

Let’s see…what else? I am having the WORST anxiety about labor and delivery and about how James’ life will be impacted by a new baby. I am just having the worst thoughts - like, what if I DIE during labor? I actually wrote letters to Ben, James, and the new baby the other night in case I die. So dramatic, I know. But I’m seriously SCARED guys! Last time I was in labor I was told there was a good chance I was going to die, so I am sure that is having something to do with my intense fear this time.

Plus, I’m just scared of not getting to the hospital in time, or not getting the epidural in time, and for the general discomfort and unpleasantness of labor and delivery …and for postpartum recovery. And for newborn life, because, let’s be honest - it’s hard! And the sleep deprivation! And not having as much time for James….gah. I’m trying to just take deep breaths and not over think things and trust God. But, prayers are much appreciated!!

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Here’s this week’s survey:

How far along: 37 weeks 4 days

Total weight gain/loss: Up around 40lbs.

Maternity clothes? Yes! Living in my maternity leggings and big t-shirts!

Stretch marks? Lots!

Sleep: Not good. haha

Best moment this week: Lunch with sweet friends!

Have you told family and friends: Yes!

Movement: All the time!

Food cravings: Everything…I can’t wait to be able to have a chicken caesar salad again!!

Anything making you queasy or sick: No.

Have you started to show yet: Yep!

Gender: Boy!

Labor Signs: Back pain, period-like cramps, Braxton Hicks, lost mucus plug

Belly Button in or out? It's pretty much flat now.

Wedding rings on or off? Off! Wearing a place holder ring.

Happy or Moody most of the time: EMOTIONAL and moody

Symptoms: Lightning crotch, Upper back pain on the right side (better than it was last week!!), pelvis/hip/groin pain, leg cramps at night, frequent peeing, heart burn, light-headed, out of breath, THIRSTY, stretch marks, spider veins, EMOTIONAL, hormonal, swollen and achey feet

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Mommy Monday: 35 weeks pregnant with number two - it's getting serious!

COMFIEST joggers! They are under $17 and I'm packing them in my hospital bag and wearing them home from the hospital after I give birth!   Click here for the joggers

COMFIEST joggers! They are under $17 and I'm packing them in my hospital bag and wearing them home from the hospital after I give birth! Click here for the joggers

Hi friends!

Sorry this post is up a day late...I had every intention of doing it last night after I put James to bed, but then I got tired and crashed. haha

I'm going to put next week's Mommy Monday post up next Tuesday as well because NEXT TUESDAY I GET MY CERCLAGE REMOVED!! I want to wait to put my post up until after it's removed so I can update you guys on how it went and everything!

I will be 36 weeks 3 days when I get it removed. I'm REALLY excited to get it out, but also pretty nervous. My cerclage removal last pregnancy was kind of awful (read about it here) so I'm praying this time it goes way smoother (and is less painful!).

This past weekend was so busy - we had a birthday party for one of James' friends on Saturday. It was so fun! Then on Sunday, we had a huge family reunion - there were around 22 little kids under the age of twelve there! It was crazy but James had SO MUCH fun playing with all the other kids! He is SO cute to watch with other kids - he's so friendly and bold and silly and eager to jump in and play. I just love him and am so proud of him!

A little progress photo!

A little progress photo!

Anyways, my Braxton Hicks have picked up a LOT this past week. My body is definitely getting ready for labor - it's so exciting! My back has also been getting really sore - my upper back, so not labor related, just really sore muscles around my shoulder blades. Other than that, I don't really have any new symptoms other than just feeling really huge and ready for this baby to come! BUT, not until after the cerclage is removed!

Now for the survey:

How far along: 35 weeks 3 days

Total weight gain/loss: Up 34lbs as of last doctor's appointment.

Maternity clothes? Yes! Give me all the maternity leggings and tees!

Stretch marks? So many above and below and around my belly button!

Sleep: It's ok! Having a bit of insomnia, peeing a lot...but ok!

Best moment this week: Watching James play with his friends and with family members this weekend! He is the friendliest, sweetest, silliest little boy. I love how bold and loving he is!

Have you told family and friends: Yes!

Movement: All the time! Definitely more rolling type movement now that he is getting squished!

Food cravings: Nothing in particular!

Anything making you queasy or sick: No.

Have you started to show yet: Yep!

Gender: Boy!

Labor Signs: Braxton Hicks all the time...they've really amped up this past week!

Belly Button in or out? It's pretty much flat now.

Wedding rings on or off? Off! Wearing a place holder ring.

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy for the most part! But definitely moody and cranky and emotional as well.

Symptoms: Pelvis/hip/groin pain, leg cramps at night (had the WORST one last night!!!!), frequent peeing, heart burn, light-headed, out of breath, THIRSTY, hungry all the time, stretch marks, spider veins, EMOTIONAL, hormonal, feet starting to hurt if I stand on them too long, tired, achey...

Have a great week, and I can't wait to update you all next week after my ultrasound and cerclage removal!!

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Mommy Monday: 34 weeks pregnant and a bit of a scare!!

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I didn't write this post yesterday (on Monday) because I had a doctor's appointment today (Tuesday) and wanted to wait until after the appointment so that I'd have more to update you all on!

So, today I went in for my normal check-in with my OB, and had a bit of a scare! She listened to the baby's heart and his heart rate was high - in the 180s, when his is normally in the 140-150s. She had me go do an NST (non-stress test) which I had a few of when I was pregnant with James. I was, obviously, so worried, but the doctor assured me that it was just a precaution because babies' heart rates often spike and she could have just caught it during one of those spikes.

So, I had the NST and during it, it kept picking up contractions, which I knew to be Braxton Hicks because I'm a pro when it comes to those - I had SO many with James, and have had a ton with this pregnancy as well. But, of course the nurse doing the test got concerned and had me chug water and switch positions. I kept praying "PLEASE don't make me get admitted" because all I could think about was having to be away from sweet little James! And of course I was constantly praying that everything was ok with the baby as well.

Long story short, his heart rate went down and the doctor cleared me to go home, but told me to drink 120 oz of water a day. Which she even said was nearly impossible, but to TRY. So, now I'm just chugging water and peeing every two seconds and feeling very thankful that all is well with baby boy and that I got to come home!!

We scheduled an ultrasound for next week to check the baby's position. Then, the FOLLOWING week I get my cerclage removed!! Hooray! I'll be 36 weeks at that point, and we'll see what happens! There is a chance I could go into labor when they remove the cerclage, BUT they said that last time with James too and I ended up going full term.

Continued prayers are really appreciated! We're coming up on the end of this journey, and I am so thankful for how smoothly this whole pregnancy has gone! I pray that the rest of this pregnancy and labor and delivery and postpartum journey go smoothly and complication/scare free as well, for both me and the baby!

How far along: 34 weeks 3 days

Total weight gain/loss: Up 34lbs

Maternity clothes? Yes! All I wear these days! So comfy!

Stretch marks? More and more each day - the silvery type, alllll around/above my belly button.

Sleep: Peeing every few minutes, and having trouble getting comfortable - so...as good as can be expected! :)

Best moment this week: Watching James and Ben play this past weekend -they got so much good quality time and it was just so sweet to watch! Ben is the best daddy!

Have you told family and friends: Yes!

Movement: So much! :)

Food cravings: Fruit!

Anything making you queasy or sick: No.

Have you started to show yet: Yep!

Gender: Boy!

Labor Signs: Lots of Braxton Hicks.

Belly Button in or out? Mostly out, the top part is still poking out though, very freaky looking!

Wedding rings on or off? Off! Wearing a place holder ring.

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy for the most part! But definitely moody and cranky and emotional as well.

Symptoms: Pelvis/hip/groin pain, leg cramps at night, frequent peeing, heart burn, light-headed, out of breath, THIRSTY, hungry all the time, stretch marks, spider veins, EMOTIONAL, hormonal, feet starting to hurt if I stand on them too long, tired, achey... No new symptoms really!

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Mommy Monday: 27 Weeks Pregnant With Number Two!

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27 weeks pregnant, and feeling great! Although, some new symptoms: bloody noses (I had these  A TON when I was pregnant with James!), and heartburn!

So, last Monday, I had my one hour test to check for gestational diabetes. I found out the next day that I had failed that one hour test and therefore had to go in and do the three hour test. The same thing happened when I was pregnant with James, so I wasn't too worried about it. It was more of just a pain, because for the three hour test I had to fast (no coffee even!!), and it takes ...THREE HOURS. So, just kind of miserable and inconvenient.

But I did it last Wednesday, and I found out on Friday that I PASSED! Woohoo, so NO gestational diabetes for me! Hooray! Bring on the doughnuts! ;)

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Today I got my hair cut - three inches off and it feels SO much healthier!! The last time I got it cut was...November?? haha So it was WAAAYY over due. Here are some before and afters - nothing drastic, but just way healthier!!

I think that's all for now! This is my last week in the second trimester - so next Mommy Monday post will be the start of my THIRD TRIMESTER! Seriously, where is the time going? I've started sorting through James' baby clothes and getting them all moved into the dresser for baby boy number two. It's making me so emotional but also so excited. James has been helping me go through his old clothes and it is just so so cute! He has so much fun looking at them all, haha.

I'm really feeling emotional about the fact that there are less than 13 weeks left in this pregnancy, meaning only 13ish weeks left of it JUST being James. I know it will be so great and fun and happy (and hard, haha). But I can't help but think about how precious this time is with just James - just me and him, one on one every day. I will miss this era. It's such a special time in life that we wont get back and I'm so thankful for it. I love that little boy so incredibly much! How is he going to be TWO YEARS OLD in a few weeks?!?!?!

Alright, onto this week's survey:

How far along: 27 weeks 2 days - almost to the THIRD trimester!!

Total weight gain/loss: Up 19.4 lbs as of last week's appointment.

Maternity clothes? Yep! All maternity at this point! I'm big, guys. Real big. haha

Stretch marks? A ton around and above my belly button! Aaaahhh, motherhood. :)

Sleep: Fine!

Best moment this week: Finding out I passed the glucose test!

Have you told family and friends: Yes!

Movement: All the time! He is an active little boy! So much fun! I will miss feeling him move once he is born, since we aren't planning on having any more kids. It's such a special experience!

Food cravings: Pasta, doughnuts, fruit, ice cream... HA

Anything making you queasy or sick: No.

Have you started to show yet: Yep! Big time!

Gender: Boy!

Labor Signs: Some (very few) Braxton Hicks.

Belly Button in or out? The top part is out, the bottom part is in.

Wedding rings on or off? Off! Wearing a place holder ring.

Happy or Moody most of the time: MOODY/emotional

Symptoms: Bloody noses, heart burn, light-headed, out of breath, THIRSTY, hungry all the time stretch marks, spider veins, EMOTIONAL, hormonal, tired, crying at nothing... It's great! hahaha

Thank you for your continued prayers and good vibes! It is SO incredibly wonderful to be able to experience a "normal" pregnancy!! Only 9ish weeks until I get my cerclage out! Woohoo!

 

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Baby After Bedrest? My Thoughts On Baby Number Two

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Warning: This will be a long one, guys! It's probably the most personal blog post I've ever written.

If you've been following my blog for awhile, you know that my pregnancy with James turned out to be a really challenging and scary one, leading up to an even more frightening birth experience.

To summarize, I was given an emergency cerclage and put on bedrest at 20 weeks due to having a shortened cervix. Being on bedrest for the next 16+ weeks was the most challenging experience of my life, both mentally and physically. It was 16 weeks of being terrified for my baby's safety, my body deteriorating, and being bored and antsy and...it was just a really really emotional and hard time.

I ended up having my cerclage removed at around 36 weeks and I was taken off of bedrest at that time. At 39 weeks 3 days, I went in for my weekly check in with my doctor and he noted that my right leg was waaay more swollen than my left leg. He said he wanted to have me induced and to check for a blood clot. I was sent right over to the hospital where I was admitted and was told I would be given an ultrasound on my leg to check for blood clots. The doctor on call who would deliver James came in and basically told me that there was a good chance I would die suddenly and that she was very very concerned. When I told her I was scared she said "I think that's reasonable, I am too." Um. Without going on and on too much here, what AWFUL bedside manner. It REALLY messed me up, to put it lightly. I burst into tears and was horrified (read more details here). Bottom line, I DID NOT have a blood clot. They went ahead and broke my water and I went into labor and delivered James without any further complications. (Click here to read our birth story)

I haven't opened up too much about the mental aspects of how all of this affected me. I'm not sure I really want to. I have shared with my close family, because I DEFINITELY had (and still do have) a lot to work through. It was a traumatic experience from the moment I was told my cervix didn't look right at the anatomy scan. Then after all of that and being told I would die, I was thrust into the throes of new motherhood which is a huge life-altering experience on its own, let alone after all I had been through. I still struggle with everything that happened. I'm scared. My anxiety is through the roof. I'm more emotional. I'm more aware of how very quickly life can be taken away, and how fleeting and fragile and precious life is. I'm still healing emotionally, and probably will be for a long time. My experience, without trying to be too dramatic, has forever changed me - has forever changed my mind - and it will haunt me for the rest of my life in some form. BUT I ended up with the most beautiful little boy, and I am absolutely so grateful for how everything turned out!!

At first, Ben and I were pretty scared to even think about the possibility of having another baby. We both want more kids, but we are also SO SO SO VERY happy with just James. James is EVERYTHING. He is our perfect blessing - healthy, happy, strong, whole, beautiful, smart... we are so thankful for him and for the fact that we were blessed with a son and that we all came out of that pregnancy and labor and delivery SAFE. We are so thankful to be parents, and we thought "why mess with what we have?" Because what we have is perfect. Why risk having to go through that again? Why risk me dying? Why risk losing a baby if all didn't go well? I was suffering from PTSD and so so unbelievably scared to even consider doing that again.

As time went by, and James turned a year old, I began to feel a pang of baby fever. My little boy was becoming a toddler and babyhood was slipping away so quickly. I pictured having another little one close in age with James for him to play with. Ben and I talked, and decided that I should sit down with my doctor and talk about if it was a good idea for us to get pregnant again, or if it was NOT recommended. We didn't want to be selfish by getting pregnant again just because we wanted another kid, and then put the new baby at risk because of a shortened cervix, or risk me dying, or upset James' perfect, happy, charmed little life.

I met with my doctor and laid out all of my thoughts, concerns, fears, questions... he looked at me, smiled and said "have a baby!" He explained that bottom-line: I DID NOT HAVE A BLOODCLOT. Bottom-line: Nothing happened to the baby. Bottom-line: Everything turned out FINE and I made it nearly to my due date, and maybe would have longer if they hadn't moved things along. Bottom-line: we will NEVER know if I even NEEDED a cerclage and bedrest at all, because my cervix never changed and I maybe would have made it full term even without all of those precautions. Bottom-line: I may not even have any issues with my cervix next time around. My doctor said, "If you were my wife, we'd be having a baby. Hopefully I'll see you back here soon pregnant!"

I was relieved, but still skeptical. My doctor recommended that I meet with Maternal Fetal Medicine, since high risk pregnancies and all of that are their specialty. So I did. I met with ANOTHER doctor from MFM, and he basically told me the EXACT same things that my doctor had. This doctor told me that if I get pregnant again, I wont be put on bedrest because it has been found to do more harm than good in most cases, because of inactivity and how it can increase the risk of blood clots, and also how bad it is for a person mentally. He said I also wouldn't have a cerclage again. He explained that there is no scientific evidence that a cerclage or bedrest do any good or make any difference. He told me to get pregnant.

A number of emotions went through my head after my meetings with the doctors. I was relieved and excited. I felt a bit angry that I had been through a cerclage and bedrest for maybe no reason, but then quickly I felt guilt for feeling angry because God knows I would have done ANYTHING ANYTHING ANYTHING in the entire world to keep my son safe inside of me until he was able to survive in the world. I felt confused. I felt a LOT of skepticism. These doctors were not the doctor that did my cerclage and put me on bedrest and monitored me up until I was around 30 weeks pregnant - did they REALLY know??

Ben and I have discussed everything at length. Most of all, we don't want anything to negatively impact James. But having received such adamant and confident assurance and encouragement from two separate doctors, we feel very encouraged and excited that we have the option of trying for baby number two, if we choose to do so.

A lot of prayer is going on over here. Prayer for guidance and for strength and for the right decision to be made and for God's will to be made known. We will see what happens. We will see what we decide to do. But for now, I am clinging to the words of each of my doctors, telling me that I have to remember that EVERYTHING TURNED OUT TO BE OK. My son was born full-term and healthy, and I did not have a blood clot. I wouldn't be considered high risk going into another pregnancy.

I'm ok. James is ok. I am ok to get pregnant again.

But I'm still scared.

So we'll see. But that is where we are at. We have been given the go-ahead by two different doctors, and Ben and I would both love to have more children. But we'd also be SO SO SO fine with just having our bright, sweet, shining little boy! I am an only child and I loved it.

Whatever we decide to do and whatever happens, I pray that it is God's will.

So that's where we're at!

Have any of you had another child after having a scary or hard pregnancy and/or birth experience? I'd really love to hear your story if you have.

 

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